My Thankful Post

In case you’re wondering why I keep talking about food allergies...and why I always include a little bit about intolerance and the fact that it is quite different from food allergies and anaphylaxis in there too, it is largely in part to the 4 ER visits (with epinephrine administered) that we have experienced with our 4 year old daughter. 

I haven’t written or spoken much about our nightmare that happened just a few days before Thanksgiving because the images of that night still haunt me from time to time. 

We were eating dinner on the Monday before Thanksgiving. The kids were both so excited because we were going to decorate the Christmas tree and watch Home Alone, as we do every year, right after our meal. During dinner Amery got a few hives on her face which is not uncommon with food allergies. Hives happen on a weekly basis - we give Benedryl and get on with whatever it was we were doing. Of course we wondered why she had hives since there were no known allergens at the table that night. But we figured all would be well. 

The kids decorating the tree.

Our house was high energy as we proceeded to decorate the tree. Everyone in good spirits as the kids giggled as we reminisced about all of our ornaments. Soon after we were finished, Amery told us that she had to throw up. “Ok,” I thought. “This is possibly a 2nd system happening here...” With food allergies and anaphylaxis we are told to administer epinephrine when any two or more systems are reacting (hives and vomiting, hives and swelling, vomiting and coughing or wheezing, etc...). Typically Amery reacts within 0-30 minutes after coming in contact with an allergen. Because a little bit of time had passed since the hives, and they had cleared up, I wasn’t 100% on what to do, so I figured we would watch her and see for a few minutes. 

Now, she had some prior reactions to something new - we didn’t know what yet - so we had been keeping a food journal for her allergist with plans to test again soon. So I began to jot down every single ingredient in the journal in the kitchen while Amery sat on the couch. I was writing for just a few seconds then went and sat beside of her. When I looked at her, the girl who just a few minutes earlier was giggling and dancing, sat pale with her head slumped over and her eyes closed. I picked her up so she would wake up and look at me, but she wouldn’t look at me at all. Her eyes kept rolling back in her head as she would mumble “I’m... just... so... tired.” I was telling her in a “happy” voice to look at Mommy, but she just couldn’t do it. My husband and our eight year old son were also in the room. Chip (husband) had his phone in hand telling me to take her to the ER right away. However, I knew that she was fading. She was not responding and unable to keep her eyes open. I knew in my gut that I had to give her the epi pen shot right then and there. Chip ran to get me an epi pen and I proceeded to give it to Amery. Our son, still there watching all of this, later told us that when everything was happening he knelt down to pray for his sister to be ok. He is the most amazing kid. 

As I gave her the shot, doing everything we had been trained to do, I was crying and whispering in her ear that everything would be ok. Chip was emotional, but at this point was already calling 911 to get an ambulance. This is where is gets tricky. 

The 911 operator asked Chip if we wanted an ambulance or if we wanted to drive her ourselves. In the panic of that moment, we decided we could get to the hospital faster if we just left our house and drove on our own. The four of us hurried out of the house barely making it out with shoes on. Amery was still white as a ghost and not responding - which wasn’t right since the shot typically (the previous 3 times) perked her up and stopped the reaction within a minute give or take. 

Amery in her carseat, was vomiting and still unable to properly respond or look at me. I was freaking out inside for a few reasons. 

1. In our hurry out of the house, I forgot the second shot. I knew deep down she needed another dose, and I didn’t have it. 
2. When I looked at her head falling from side to side, saw her face so lifeless, when I asked her questions and got no response, when her eyes would not stop rolling back into her head, I knew she was dying. Wow. That is even hard to type. I had no control over anything that was happening, and my little girl was barely hanging on. 

I was multi-tasking as I talked to the 911 operator who had notified police not to stop us and told the ER to expect us, I was trying to keep talking to Amery begging her to look at me, talk to me... do something to let me know she’d be ok, and I was in constant communication with Jesus on the inside. Praying over my little one to be alright. 

After more meds and staying most of the night in the ER, she was ok. She was ok! Thank you, Jesus. She was ok. 

Amery and me lying on the bed in the ER.

The images from our living room, and even more so the car ride to the ER are forever burned into my brain. They’ve woken me up at night, haunted my dreams... but I am thankful that Amery is ok. She is alive and well. Her big brother, who is so strong, watched everything and was with us in the ER the entire time, thought to pray in the midst of the chaos Chip and I were experiencing. He is so very special. 

Food allergies and anaphylaxis are completely lame. I hate them. I want the world to know as much as possible about the true dangers of anaphylaxis so that kids like Amery can be as safe as they can. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and other posts. 

Oh, as for what caused that reaction? Carrots. Yep. A veggie she ate all the time, all of a sudden caused an anaphylactic reaction. 

If They're Not Carrying an Epi-Pen for That Food Allergy, They Probably Aren't Allergic

I would like to (continue to) clear the air where Food Allergies are concerned. 

IF you can say “Every time I eat yogurt __________ happens,” then chances are you don’t have an allergy to dairy. You are likely INTOLERANT to dairy. If you were allergic to dairy, you wouldn’t eat anything with any milk products in it - not even butter used in a baked good, or a food with casein or certain types of lactate on the label, because if you ingested ANY dairy -no matter the amount- your body would freak out, organs would potentially shut down, and you could die within a matter of minutes without a shot of epinephrine. 

IF you have Celiac Disease, or can say “Every time I eat wheat or gluten __________ happens,” you do not have a gluten/wheat “allergy." You have a gluten sensitivity, or intolerance. I myself suffer from migraines if I eat too much gluten, and from bad stomach cramps if I eat certain types of dairy. I am not allergic to gluten or dairy. If I were allergic to either then the afore mentioned would take place and I would need a shot of epinephrine to save my life. Within minutes in most cases. Minutes. 

I am not saying this to be rude, but to raise awareness. For the sake of people like my daughter, who have LIFE THREATENING food allergies, please stop calling yourself “allergic.” Call it what it is - a sensitivity or intolerance. If an allergen so much as touches Amery, then she will have a reaction. Sometimes even the smell of an allergen in the air (garlic and peanuts in her case) can cause a reaction. 

Amery being monitored (one of 4 times) in the ER after anaphylaxis and an epinephrine shot

Because the waters of what a food allergy truly is have been so muddied, it is even more stressful on our family and families like ours to eat out. Servers assume right off the bat when we begin to tell them Amery has severe food allergies that she is “gluten free.” Well, no. She is not gluten free. As a matter of fact, bring on the gluten! In her long list of food allergens (milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, beef, garlic, avocado, green peppers, carrots and peaches) wheat and gluten are one the few things she can eat - in large quantities I might add. She is not going to get a stomach ache or other symptoms like so many of the people who claim to be allergic to certain food when they come and sit at one of your tables, kind server. If an allergen so much as goes near her food - if any sort of contamination occurs -- if you touch the ranch dressing then touch her food, or you forget to change your gloves or grab a new spoon in the kitchen, we will be jabbing her in the leg with the epi pen and calling an ambulance within minutes. People need to know just how serious Food Allergies are. These are lives at stake. 

Because food allergy and anaphylactic families need servers, restaurant owners, caregivers and everyone else who may be around our food allergy kids to be aware of how severe food allergies, not intolerances and sensitivities, truly are, PLEASE, in a world where almost everyone has a certain dietary restriction, stop lumping those restrictions with food allergies. 

Spread the word. 

Because He Says So

I am over seeing tweets and blogs from “church leaders” that leave readers feeling discouraged. They talk down to us with lists that scream “pray like this,” “read like this,” “worship like this,” "serve like this,"... OR ELSE... you’ll never have true passion, you’ll never have victory, you’ll never overcome, you’ll never experience God’s love, you'll never be free, you’ll never walk out the plan God created you live... you’ll never be ___________ enough. 

I am thankful that the church where we are on staff doesn't teach this way. If I had to listen to this arrogant teaching from a pulpit every week, I would probably be in a permanent state of depression. My guess is that many of the people sitting under leadership like this don't realize that what they are being told isn't right. Perhaps church goers leave Sunday morning feeling challenged, and even excited to try to amp-up their spiritual walk. Maybe they commit to read their Bible more, pray more, spend more time in worship (which, our lives are worship, but that is a different blog), in order to experience the financial freedom... the healing… the victory... the "breakthrough"…. they have so desperately needed. 

One of two or three things will happen over time when this mindset is set into play (I have been in each of these situations).

1. Burn out. You pray. You seek. You worship. You read. But the answer you were looking for doesn't come, so you get discouraged, and figure you are meant to live the way things were. *sigh*

2. You quit. Too many things to do, too little time. How can I ever measure up to what they've told me to do? I can't. I give up. 

3. Coming soon...

All of those things (prayer, worship, reading our Bibles, serving, etc) are great. We should do them more, but we should do them out of the simplicity of love. We love God, therefore we… serve, worship, pray, read the Bible. Doing these things will cause growth in our spiritual lives and our love for God and for others will undoubtedly deepen. 

My issue is not with leaders telling their congregants to do these things.

The issue is telling people that they will never measure up or experience God in certain ways unless they do this or that, is not only bad theology, it is plain mean!

The thing is, God is so tender and so loving and so amazing in every way imaginable. He is love. He keeps no record of wrongs. He is our loving father and would never take something good from his kids, or deny us something good because, well, you just didn't 'pray through', so I'm sorry but you can never have victory. Um, you didn't worship hard enough the other day - you were sort of tired, so I'm sorry - you can't overcome your circumstances. I know you have a job and kids to look after, but you really aren't spending enough time in the trenches engaging in spiritual warfare, so…. you can't be free. SorryNotSorry. 

Really? Really?! Does that sound like the God you love and serve? 

So, hopefully, if you haven't already, you can find yourself in this third category of people. 

3. Revelation. You wise up and realize that it is not about how, what, when, where, why. It's not about anything at all that we do. 

The simple truth that you are alive and have been born into God automatically makes you everything he says you are. 

You are loved. 

You are victorious. 

You are (more than) an overcomer.

You are free.

You are a child of God.

You are beautiful. 

You haven't "missed" God's plan. 

Guess what? You don't have to do one single thing to obtain victory, freedom, love, hope…. whatever! If someone tells you that you can only experience those things via some spiritual-action plan, they are wrong. If someone tells you that you haven't experienced victory, or healing, or whatever…. because you haven't spent enough time in the "spiritual trenches" battling the enemy, they are wrong. 

You have victory because he created you to be victorious. Nothing you do, or don't do, can change that. 

You have overcome because he created you to be an overcomer. More than an overcomer. Nothing you do, or don't do, can change that. 

You have freedom because he has set you free. Nothing you do, or don't do, can change that. 

This is it - God wants you to love him and to love other people. Without reserve. No limits. Love. Then love some more. 

God loves you. Nothing changes it. Ever. The end. 

The Lost Habit of Respect

R-E-S-P-E-C-T... Find out What it Means to Me

Now you are singing along with Aretha. You're welcome. Working with teenagers and young adults is one of my all time favorite things to do. My husband and I are honored to be able to impact young lives on a daily basis. I continue to learn from them and love how they are constantly emerging into the young men and women they were created to be.

However, I am starting to feel as though I have somewhat failed young people in a few areas. One of them being the habit of Respect. Not very long ago, when I was growing up, respect and knowing the proper way to address and respond to others were very important. We even attended etiquette classes that reenforced what we were learning in our homes - the right way, and the wrong way, to act. Social media perhaps has jaded the rising generations in that they are less afraid of being perceived as "rude" because they are behind the safety of a computer or phone screen. Things are said over text and social media that may never be said to someone's face. Or sadly, perhaps they would? 

There is a sense of entitlement within rising generations unlike anything I have ever seen. It says. Because I exist, I deserve... your respect, whatever job I want, to be lazy, to speak my mind without caring about consequences... and so on. 

"...The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes.” - Charles Swindoll

How we respond to others speaks volumes about our character. Whether it be peers, leaders, friends...whatever, it is important to know that the attitude with which respond to others, will certainly effect the way people see us and the responsibilities/positions they are willing to entrust us with.

If I am called into a meeting with a supervisor and am told that I need improvement in a certain area, or they offer guidance in how they believe I should conduct myself because I represent their company (whether I agree or not is another story entirely) and instead of heeding their advice, I list off what I believe to be wrong with what they've said, telling my supervisor that I essentially don't care what they say, or the impact my actions and words have on others, because I am going to do and say what I like... Guess what will happen???? My disrespectful attitude and response is gonna get my tail fired. 

Proverbs 15:1-2 says A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness. 

I want to deflect anger. I want to be wise. I want my children to be wise....

This morning Chip and I had a teaching moment with our son on the "right" way to respond versus the "wrong" way. Instead of screaming or crying and losing privileges, we taught him that it would be WISE for him to take a breath and simply explain to us what is happening. I want my children to treat their peers, and especially adults and those in leadership over them with the utmost respect. I never want them to react to parents, teachers, supervisors, or pastors in rudeness. I don't expect them to agree with everything their leaders say, but I expect my children to always react in a respectful manner, because that is what they have been taught. My children are amazing, but they aren't entitled to anything, aside from my love, simply because they exist. And because I love them, I will teach them how to respond to people early on so they can carry a sense of respect and dignity with them all throughout their lives. 

Can we please change this epidemic of disrespect? Can we as parents and grandparents be more intentional than ever in teaching our children and grandchildren that their attitude and the way they react is 100% under their control? Can we teach them that it is important to respect others, even if they disagree? 

Young people... will you commit to being the change your generations needs you to be? Raise the bar. Set it high. Break the stereotype... instead of the generation of entitlement, be the generation of kindness and respect. 

The Finish Line...

Today was RACE DAY....

I will write all about it when I'm not BEAT, but wanted you to see this...

I worked SO hard to get to the Finish Line. It was emotional and so rewarding.

I am doing more triathlons FOR SURE....

Just What I Needed

Rest. 
Not something one likes to think about doing when you are married to a Training Plan and Race Day is quickly approaching. The scrapes and bruises received from my minor bike crash were nothing compared to the pain the only increased in my ribs and shoulder as days went by. I wondered if a rib was broken because at one certain spot it would take my breath away if I barely touched my chest. It hurt to take deep breaths, it hurt to ride my bike, it hurt to run, and it really hurt to swim.

I took one bike ride off to rest, one run, and about 2-3 swim sessions. This made me so nervous since my training plan has me beginning to taper (back off training as Race Day approaches in order to have a well rested body and mind) and the swim is the majority of my training as of now. Saturday came and I decided it was time for a long swim. My previous swims were about 850m (32 laps), and on Saturday I felt SO good that I went for 1,050m (42 laps). I could have gone for more, but I wanted to get outside to hang with my kids! Rest was just what I needed. Last night I swam 900m and went for a 2mi run afterwards and felt strong the whole way through.

Tonight I will get back on the bike for a quick 18mi ride and then tomorrow I will take off. I am nervous and excited, feeling ready and yet questioning everything I've done to this point right now. Race Day is coming. Fast. Praying for AMAZING weather and a great experience all together.

Thanks to everyone for the support!

Digging Deep

A really quick update because I'm feeling frustrated this morning...

Woke up early for an 18 mile bike ride only to realize that my gear shift and handle bars are messed up on the right side. This is from a silly little crash I had on Saturday after Chip and I did a 21 mile ride up to and around the Chatfield Reservoir. I had a great ride - even did my first open road cycling - and as we were pulling up to the Xterra, I was reminding myself to gear down, completely forgetting to unclip my feet from the pedals. I was braking and all of a sudden I was stopped. With BOTH feet still locked into the pedals. It felt like slow motion... I just toppled over on my right side. I got a little bruised up, but couldn't stop laughing at myself! :) SO.... that little mishap created a problem for me this morning. Hopefully it is an easy fix!

Upon realizing the bike ride wasn't going to work out, I ran inside and changed my shorts and shoes for a run. I don't know if it was because my mind was prepared for a bike ride or what, but mentally it was really hard for me today. I walked for almost 2 minutes to warm up and refocus then began my run. Time was crunched because of all the time I spent messing with my bike (I had to be home in time for Chip to make it to work on time), so I decided on running my go-to 2 mile loop when I have less than 30 minutes to spend on a run.

Usually, I knock out my two mile loop with no problems. Today was different. It was as if I couldn't dig deep enough to motivate myself through it. I'm so sore. I'm tired. I have scrapes and bruises all over my arms and legs. I have this spot below my collar bone that hurts when I do simple movements like pull back my shoulders, or straighten my back. Today was hard. It didn't go as planned. It threw me off. It was a good lesson.

I have to roll with training, racing, LIFE... when it doesn't go as planned. By nature I am pretty laid back and go with the flow easily. We love being spontaneous in my house. We aren't ones to plan too much because we love to be flexible. In life, I know that things rarely go as planned and am prepared for that. In training, however, I've been married to this "Training Plan" and my brain didn't know what to do this morning when I had to do a quick change up. I have a picture in my mind how each day's training sessions will go from what route I will take, the time it will take me to do so, the sets, the reps, the rests... you get it. I have a similar picture in my head for race day, which is coming soon. I think today helped me to realize that I need to prepare for anything. That even when I am tired and sore, I have to get my mental game on track to dig deep and pull out whatever it takes to finish strong.

Today I didn't finish strong. I turned around early and ran a measly 1.5 miles. Lesson learned. Dig Deep.